dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He passed out mid-signature
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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