I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
