I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize