OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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