amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
