I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize