now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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