Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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