so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
