eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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