I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
