I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
