I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
