One girl and one boy is just not enough.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
