Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
