I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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