This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
