So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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