did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Randomize
