I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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