Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
