I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
