He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How's work?
Spinning.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
