in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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