She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
