god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
