I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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