then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
