I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
