mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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