Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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