just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
