Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
