it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
