i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
