you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
