He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
