a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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