There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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