Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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