Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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