So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
