I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
