Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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