if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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