the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The feeling are messing with the penis
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
