I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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