All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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