We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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