Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
