hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
