Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
