There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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