i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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