smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
