____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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