Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
