She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
