Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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