its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
