It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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