Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
