I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
