I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
