strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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