so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
