haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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