Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
