im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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