I looked at my own cervix.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
