what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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