why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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