...so i touched it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize