I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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