jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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