Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
