Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
