that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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