Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
