so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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